examine yourself

it takes two hands to clap. with one, you can get no sound. maybe if you swing it hard enough, you might hear the air move.
it's the same for everything else.

like for friendships..
definitely something that requires two hands to work. a relationship that fades away, often, we like to blame it on the other party. we, humans, all like to think that we don't do anything that is wrong, it is always the other person. a not too recent yet not too long ago incident with a friend resulted in a breakdown. i did think that why is the other person so difficult? why cant that person just go along with things? looking back, i just feel ashame for thinking that way. no matter what it is, i should examine myself, and ask myself why am i so difficult instead. im glad things arent as bad as it used to be now.
we can and often blame others on why they dont make an effort to maintain a relationship. for every silence on the other side, how can we blame anyone else but yourself if you yourself remains silent? how can we accuse others of being difficult when ourselves refuse to be more easy going? we can ask why others fail to meet the expectations but we can also ask why do we fix our expectations so high?

or for church..
having only been around the scene for a few years, i have already hear my fair share of people talking about how other places are better, how the preacher is more interesting, how the people are more caring, how easier it is to grow, how they have more areas for one to serve. well, of course there's always something better somewhere else, something better in an individual own interest. of course its better when everything is all set up, nice and proper, and you just have to... fit in, everything is provided for. one house that has everything and servants to keep it going, the other house is bare and empty, which one would one think it will be the more cosy one? of course its the one i can step in, sit on a huge comfortable chair, servants bring drinks and food to me, and i just do what i want to do. who doesnt like to get good things without having to do anything? that said, does it mean that the empty house cannot be cosy, cannot be comfortable? it will remain cold and empty if one is too lazy, too self centered to do anything about it. or it can be nice and comfortable too if one is willing to stop whining, get the butt off the floor, go to ikea and get yourself some furniture, and ask some friends for a nice gathering.

he's difficult, but have i been easy?
people arent caring, but do i care for others myself?
sermon isnt interesting, but am i willing to listen or learn to begin with?
gatherings arent fun, but do i try and plan something fun?
there's nothing in common, but have i tried to see if there could be anything in common?
there are people i dont like there, but have i tried liking them?
there's something wrong with how things are done, but have i tried changing them?
i cant contribute anything, but have you tried? if not, how do you know you cant?

it's always easier to identify other's mistakes, faults. it is always clearer from the point of the observer. but what is really important is not about what other's do or do not do. which right do one have to judge others anyway? one should really look at himself, to make himself blameless, and let others deal with themselves.