just like what we learned at bsf this year, the book of isiah talked about God bringing people down to zero. not that i think i was ever high and mighty, but i have certainly reached rock bottom. i have lost respect of myself.
things happened for a reason. i did something wrong. im duly punished by it. i cried harder than i ever did before, ashamed of myself. yes, a cell leader, a deacon.. i failed God, i failed the church, i failed the people i care about.
so the trial that i have been waiting for came in the form of this. and did i fail badly.
while i cannot say that the dust has settled, but God has not disintegrate me into ashes. i will not despair, i will not stray. God humbled me, so that I know I need Him. I'm not gonna despair, but I'll do things right.
Thank you God for this lesson. Pray that you protect and heal the people i hurt along the way.
:)
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