and it took a really long while.. ok fine, maybe compare to others, it may not be as long, but it is pretty much the longest for me. there i was, still so losts.. and suddenly, just suddenly.. it occured to me..
it's not about what i want or need, for i deserve nothing except death for being the perpetual sinful man, for the wage of sin is death, but thanks to my Lord and the undeserved gift He gave us, i still live. so it isn't really about me, for being a follower, one must deny oneself, take up the cross and follow. to imitate the love He has for us, to ignore His own needs and suffering, to love others at the expense of oneself.
the often-heard-at-wedding verse: love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails. the ideal love is this, though i very much, if i was living back in those days, to ask Paul to put in "love is not possesive" either. although i suppose if Jesus doesnt agree, Paul wouldnt be able to write that in.
cliche as it may be, loving is not about possessing. at the end of this complicated word is just wanting the best for the other. it's about sacrificing yourself for others, just like how we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
if one look at everything in this light, that we really dont deserve anything.. then there isnt really many things to be miserable about.
really nothing much..
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