at the age of 28+....

im at an age where many all over the world are married and having families of their own. no, this is not a post about my feelings over marriage but i'm just saying that this is a age where most people thinks one should be old enough, capable enough to handle their own lives, be it with their married other half or working in a strange foreign country. in this light, i see myself as capable enough to handle the stress in life, the ups, the downs, and the emotions that flow from the circumstances of life. that said, im still quite surprised how a quarrel between my parents still depresses me, much more than many things bad things in life. each time they do, they do not scream at each other, but they do not close their door and even if i try to block them out, i still hear them pretty clearly. and it's has been the same problem for the past... many years. im at a age when i am not afraid to share my point of view, be it at a church board meeting or at work, but when it comes to parents arguement, i just dont feel "qualified" for the lack of a better word, to voice out. my parents are both stubborn on their own point of view, and I must say both have a point, though both have times when they are missing the point.

the sad fact is that both of them are sacrificing so much for the family. at an age where a lot others have happily retired, with their kids looking after them, mine do not enjoy the luxury of such. most of their awake time is still spent slogging away. if.. just if.. they can agree on how to sacrifice together so that it doesnt make the other one unhappy.

saying that, i can only wonder the kind of emotions that go through a younger much younger child having to deal with parents' problems.

judging a book by its cover

this book is awesome! not too leak too much for those who want to read, this book is about a night circus that arrives without warning. No announcement precede it... it is simply there, when yesterday it was not. a book of full fantasy and whimsical. go read it!

i must say i am quite impressed at being able to pick out books based on their covers. who says one cant judge a book by its cover?

generations of cousins

it is looking at the new generation of young cousins then you realized how old one have become. with a can of coke in my hand, i sat on the couch looking upon the kids of my older cousins playing together, making so much noise, running around the house. i turned and look at my fellow cousins, the same thought just float into our minds. we were doing the same things 15 years ago!

the only two differences probably was that one, the kids all seem to like each other, unlike during my time, the majority of us dislike these two siblings-cousins of our's, from a snob family, who thinks that they are too good to be around us (the mum seems to have the same attitude too). of course, being kids, we make sure we made lives difficult for them, like hiding their toys and from what my aunt said yesterday, hurt them too.. though none of us can remember. secondly, the big difference is how much time they are spending with the parents' ipads and iphones.

i look at them and cant help but miss those days. where the only worries is making sure you finish your homework and not forgetting to bring your art class things or else you end up having clothes pegs clipped onto the ears by my cruel art teacher. a time when a scoop of ice cream or french fries will be enough to cheer me up. how i wish life is as easy now.



oh.. 100th post! quite a landmark i must say, quite surprised i reach it.

somewhere over the rainbow

the cell group bible study for tomorrow is a chapter on meeting God through nature, and one of the question to think about is whether you believer God is the creator of all things. in my head, a system that works so perfectly, so wonderfully, can only be from the hands of God. im sure many of us "pretended" to be God before, though games such as Sim City and The Sims, but I'm sure everyone will agree how this world works, we would have never have thought of it.

as the images of the wonders of nature filled my head, for no reason, i turned towards the window, and there it was, a rainbow.

in the bible, God says that He set the rainbow in the clouds as a sign of the covenant with His people. the timing was perfect. God is reminding me that indeed He does speak to us through nature.

the beemers just continue to prove me right

yup, those drivers that think they own the whole world, those drivers of the bmws. a bunch of idiots who think that they are more important than everyone else. people who knows me may think im biased because of my family mercs but i must say i am not at all biased. in fact, i look out even more for bad mercs drivers, people that can spoil the reputation.

having done a branding project on bmws vs mercs, i know well what are people's perception of the two types. one is an rich uncle car, while the other is trendy, successful executive. i think many people are attracted by the latter, and for some reasons, people who can afford them are snobs, the bigger the car (7series), the bigger the snobs.

just today, while waiting for my bus to come outside my workplace, some dude decided to stop behing a car to wait for the valet, while half of the car's butt blocked the only other lane. obviously the valets are off parking the cars as no one approached the car to take over, and the driver seemed very please to wait, blocking off everyone else. if it wasnt for the horns that came after a reasonable 15-20seconds, im quite sure he will be quite happy to stay where he was.
so he finally move further up the road, and he happily stopped his car right in the middle of the bus bay! mind you, not near the front, or the rear of it. that's right.. right in the middle! and most singaporeans are considerate enough to know that they shouldnt be there, so they will stay in the car so that they can shift the car if a bus comes. no, not this brainless dude. he decide to come out of the car, and smoke with his buddies. a bus came and rather than moving the car, the pointed at this car, and the valet counter, and obviously made no attempt to move his car.

now, how do you picture this guy? haha.. nope, not some rich boss or suit up executie. a guy that if it wasnt for the singaporean car plate i would think was driving a malaysian car, gold chain round the neck, middle age, with friends that were dressed so gangstery and having tattoos everywhere.

despite being turned off by the lack of courtesy, i was secretly glad these people are driving a bmw, and continues to push me away from liking that brand.

looking forward to the day i can play this!

young adult's disney

you know how most disney cartoons are like the same, especially the princesses ones. they always have a happy ending, always! for the good ones at least but i dont people in general care about the wicked ones.

no im not talking abt the new generation of pixar films, whereby they touched on human emotions that are above those targetted at kids. up, toy story 3, to name two, that have evoke such emotions. the loss of ellie and how mr fredrickson faced a life of loneliness, the toys from toy story huddle together as they are being sucked into the incinerator. i dunno about you, but i know those scenes brought tears to many's eyes.

and no, im not referring to anything by disney, not that i remember anyway, ok, maybe except princess diary. but im talking about romantic comedies. friends that know me should know i have a soft spot for romcoms. i do enjoy the fantasy (such as lotr, and harry potter), the horror, the drama but i usually kinda need to be in some sort of mood before i'll feel like watching them, but romcoms.. they are like for anytime anyday, just like any disney cartoon.

always a happy ending, a pathetic male character (such as aston kutcher), a pretty female (such as natalie portman!), they meet in the most unfortunate circumstances and somehow, they end up becoming each other's soul mate. such fairy tale plot really seem to be out of a disney script.

and so that's what i did the whole of sunday afternoon. kidnapped ashley's stash of movies, and romcoms were the first ones i picked to watch.. and disney cartoons were next. haha. im so one dimensional.

current favourite =)

so this is the song that is currently on loop..




ooh... new season calls for a new look! it's spring time.. =)

wicked wizards of oz

1 week ago from today, i caught with with no doubt my favourite musical yet, though i must say i dont catch many of them. i liked lion king too, but entertainment wise, wicked is so much better. lion king is like going to disney and, who can dislike fantasy, especially if it's disney? but wicked.. is just wicked!

always a big fan of parallel stories, usually much more than the original because of the extra dimension every scene brings, be it ender's shadow, lion king 3 (or 1 and a half), the two comic characters from hamlet who has their own story, and now wicked! where the scarecrow come from, how did the tin man lose his heart, why is the lion a coward animal.

it also add to the enjoyment how glinda is so similar to reese witherspoon from legally blond.. how the actress manage to act out such a believeable bimbo, im quite sure i laughed everytime she did the horse kick, or how excited she gets over every single thing.

and the songs were all so good!

im so glad i caught it =)


though it is wayyyyyy too early to say, but it seems like 2012 is getting better every single day.

so it took a while..

and it took a really long while.. ok fine, maybe compare to others, it may not be as long, but it is pretty much the longest for me. there i was, still so losts.. and suddenly, just suddenly.. it occured to me..

it's not about what i want or need, for i deserve nothing except death for being the perpetual sinful man, for the wage of sin is death, but thanks to my Lord and  the undeserved gift He gave us, i still live. so it isn't really about me, for being a follower, one must deny oneself, take up the cross and follow. to imitate the love He has for us, to ignore His own needs and suffering, to love others at the expense of oneself.

the often-heard-at-wedding verse: love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails. the ideal love is this, though i very much, if i was living back in those days, to ask Paul to put in "love is not possesive" either. although i suppose if Jesus doesnt agree, Paul wouldnt be able to write that in.

cliche as it may be, loving is not about possessing. at the end of this complicated word is just wanting the best for the other. it's about sacrificing yourself for others, just like how we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

if one look at everything in this light, that we really dont deserve anything.. then there isnt really many things to be miserable about.

really nothing much..

no, you are not running late...

this article is totally lifted from my head! haha.. just that i probably cant expressed it as well.. nor would i ever expressed it so.. fiercely...

http://blog.firebrandtalent.com/2011/07/no-you-are-not-running-late-you-are-rude-and-selfish/

a keyboard for company

i think i can keep myself occupied with a keyboard and a laptop of chords. just spent almost 2 hours again playing away again. mind you im just doing basic rhythm which can get boring for some after a while. looking forward to learning how to play melody, though ill probably take forever to learn it, im sure it will be quite fun.

what is the secret formula to sensible people (part 1)

it's just a thought that just popped out after an exchange of thank yous between me and the drinks store uncle. it occured to me then how rare thank yous are expressed in this country. there was even a advertisement going around portraying the everyday Singapore, people do not acknowledge those who give up their seats for them, to those for hold the lift door open. it goes beyond just th lack of graciousness but a serious case of self centeredness. habitual late comers, jaywalkers who conciously make an attempt to slow down when vehicles come towards them, so that drivers have no choice but to stop the car. the list never ends.

i look at myself, though im not perfect and i do lose my temper and rant, i find myself wondering why is it that there are some basic things that seem to common sense, are lost upon many. giving way to alighting passengers, queueing up to get into the lift.

i would like to say upbringing may be one reason, but that may only be a slice of the pie. i examine my own life, and having grow up in a family where my not very educated parents earn enough to make sure their 4 boys have enough to eat, a shelter over the head, and a bed to sleep in. we cannot afford yearly family holiday trips, in fact, my family has never travelled together other than one weekend when i was 8, where we went to kuala lumpur for my great grandmother's birthday. nothing is a certainty, every want has to be earned through hard work and savings. comparing myself to kids whose parents buy the world for them, and they dont have to do anything themselves, i cant say im all surprised they grow up to be self centered people, who expects the whole world to serve them.

saying that, i must admit there are many other reasons to how someone grows up, same parents, same environment, my brothers and i are very different.

oh well.. till the next time something comes into my head..

the mysterious G

one question i always have to face is since our God no longer appears in front of people and tell you what to do, how are we ever gonna figure out what does God wants us to do? one common answer people give is that all answers can be found in the bible. before i became a christian, i always wondered how is it possible that something written thousand of years ago can tell you what to do and how to behave this during this age. well, i must say the past few years spent reading the bible has certainly gave me a different insight. if you read and understand often enough, you will know what to do.

but even till today, there are just some things that i can't guess what is the plan. you ask God for directions, and you thought you read some of the signs given by Him later. but a while later, you will wonder, is this truly what God wants me to do, or is that just my mind playing tricks and telling me what i want to do? it's like 2-3 months ago, out of nowhere, different unrelated people and situations suggest that maybe God is telling me to do something, but then today i heard from a friend that certain things have changed and the opportunity to do that thing is no longer very possible. so now i reflect on the past few months, so have i been thinking too much? missing signs? or just delaying too much? or this has nothing to do with anything related to me but i just happen to be a passerby in God's plan for someone else?

it does make no sense to me now, but i learned that usually, down the road, on hindsight, everything is so clear. i just wasnt thinking about what God wants me to do, and instead confused myself with what i want to do. im sure in a few months, or years, this will all make sense to me, and then.. maybe i'll blog a sequel to this post.