thanks to 2012

at the end of every year, my church will have a thanksgiving service, a service whereby the floor is open for anyone to share their thanksgiving for the year. normally, i get away with having to share because i was manning the sound system. this year, i got a break from having to do sound as i was playing the piano instead (how it went is a story for another time! haha)..

so this year, i decided to share. and rather than having the awkward wait for the first few volunteers, i decided to step up straight away. i always reckon the least i can do is to volunteer and encourage others to follow suit too.

so i shared 3 thanksgiving...

#1 UK trip
thank God for giving me the opportunity to take a semi-solo trip to the UK. stepping out of the comfort zone alone, i cant depend on anyone, not even myself since i dunno anything about the UK. it's really a time when i just depend on God to guide me, to ensure that i dont get lost, i dont get myself into trouble. it was really a good trip, with nothing bad happened at all. not even when i forgot to bring along my room key when i head to the shower. when i remembered that i left my keys on the bed as i prepare my shower stuff, i stood outside the room door and dread having to go down to the counter and get someone to open the door for me. but in a very interesting turn of event, it turned out that the properly function self shutting door didnt close properly, and it just swung open as i push the door to try my luck.

#2 keyboard
thank God for giving me the opportunity to learn how to play the keyboard. more than just to serve in the worship team, i think knowing how to play the basic allows me to spend more time with God. rather than spending time watching tv or on the net, i spent more time with God just playing and singing along.

#3 what people perceived as bad things happening
so... usually, people always thank God for the good, and somehow, the bad is often forgotten. of course i wont lie, if i had a choice, i would hope that my life will all be good. but "bad" things happen for a reason. there's always some form of lesson behind it. the only difference is how soon you see what you are suppose to learn out of it. sometimes hours later. sometimes weeks. and i bet there are some things that when your time on this earth is up, you might not figure out why God allows it to happen. (if you are interested to find out why God allows bad things to happen, contact me separately and ill be happy to share!) anyway, for me, this year had been a year of ups and downs, a year whereby i reflect on my life and see what God is trying to teach me, and the good thing is i took away quite a few things and hopefully, i can work on them.

who says school isnt fun?

for no reason, i suddenly wondered what did i do during uni.. and randomly came across a group chat with amy and dawn..

with friends like this, who says schooling isnt fun??

signs of old age #1

if i have something about myself that im proud about, i take pride in my ability to organize my time and plans with little help needed from organizers or technology. i am always someone who was able to see and remember the details, right down to the minor ones. im also someone who knows exactly what's engagements i have and at my prime, i was even able to remember those closer to me.

however, it seems like recently, i been losing this part of me. on the not so good days, i would only remember my engagement at the last minute, or realized too late that i got the details wrong.

just this month, i have various weddings and christmas related gatherings to attend. and you think that with a smartphone, it should be a breeze getting things organized. no.. i kept getting the start time of the weddings wrong which resulted in me having to rush off from one for another engagement, and not attending another one cause i kinda end up double booking the time.

it was so bad that my friend thought i double booked another day and i actually believed that i did even though i didnt..

losers' association

it's funny how i always seem to be able to relate to the typical "loser" characters from hollywood shows. i dunno if it's because i pay more attention to certain traits from these characters, resulting in me wondering why is the character so much like me? for a long while, it was tom from 500 days of summer, and lately, with the "new" show i been following, it seems like ted mosby is like me!

of course, im sure i am very different from them in many ways too, and im not going to follow what they do in their fake film life. still.. somehow, being able to relate to "someone" else is strangely comforting.

goodbye sheba

so most singaporeans should know by now that our one of two polar bears has sadly passed away. http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/singapore/story/polar-bear-sheba-dies-age-35-the-singapore-zoo-20121115

Sheba with her cub, Inuka, when he was less than a year old. -- PHOTO: SINGAPORE ZOO

my closer friends would know that im very fond of silly looking furry animals, such as golden retrievers and koalas. i think my favourite of them all animals would be the polar bears. they just look so silly with their big black nose and white hair (or is it fur?)

anyway, it is quite sad news finding out about the passing of one of the zoo's icon. i remember my first encounter with this friendly giant was way back in kindergarten, during my first of many school excursions to the zoo. it's just so interesting how animals have their own way to relate to one another too. like how Inuka (her son) growl at Sheba during her last few hours, and realized something was wrong the she didnt growl back like she normally would. like how they had to be separated during the last few days and Inuka will pop his head through the bars to have his mother-son bonding time.

it's sad that Sheba wont get to move into her new home at the River Safari, which opens next year. guess inuka would have to live there alone now..


what is it like living alone?

this is a question that i have always thought about. a bit scary i must say. i remember back towards the end of my year long unemployment, i was offered finally offered a job, a management trainee position for an education company. the catch was that i have to work in vietnam for at least two years, and that i have to decide and leave singapore within two weeks. it's a bit strange that they allow people to consider relocating for some time within such a short time frame, but it is a reputable company with businesses across asia.

a big consideration back then was the fact that i have to be apart with my friends and love ones for such a long time, can i do it? of course, this was the deal breaker in the end, but i wouldnt be able to continue my thoughts-out-loud if i leave it at that. of course, another thing i thought about during that weekend afterwhich i have to decide was what will i be doing if i choose to go.

i must say today i kinda lived out what it might have been like. to wake up when i feel like on a rest day, grabbing some simple food for brunch and plop myself in front of the laptop watching a comedy series (HIMYM in today's case). grab my sweater and go catch a movie by myself (skyfall which was pretty good!) and to decide whether i should take the easy way out of eating fast food for dinner or grabbing groceries and cook for myself. i did the latter though i think im getting messier during cooking after a long lapse of not cooking. end the day by washing the dishes, making a cup of camomile tea and plopping in front of my laptop for some more episodes and to blog about my day.

seeing how things turned out since, i wonder if i knew back then, would i stay or would i go? would my life turn out like today as i imagine it to be, or would it be drastically different?

2nd year completed...

2 years ago, i finally decided to commit to a seemingly challenging 8 years long bible study (it has since become 9 years with the introduction of a year study on revelations). if the length of time isnt scary enough, the organization doing this has a very strict policy on absentees. miss a few classes and you will be nicely "asked" to give up your space for someone who is more willing to learn. i never had any issue with this in any case, it is true, if you arent able to make it, give it up for someone for their benefit.

anyway, so today marked the end of year 2, and the last class was a grand sharing by all the people, about what they have learned this year from the acts of the apostles. so one of the guy from my small group went up and shared, which i hope i will remember for a long time to come, had to rephrase what he said since i cant remember exactly but...

"it is through difficult times that we naturally and instinctively draw near to God. in times like this, where things are beyond our control, we can only rely on God to pull us through. trials that are exceptional bad now, but some day in the future, you look back and all these things will seem so insignificant..."

as i push on through another difficult and trying year, i'll constantly remind myself that at the end, all these will seem so insignificant. in the meantime, relying on God is the only way i'll survive.

my new best friend

so im someone who often can remember my dreams, for some time after waking up that is. i have had history of weird dreams with distinct people with features that i can remember so well yet i have never ever met them before.

so in another level of weird dreams, i dreamt that i was best friend with a little ij primary girl! im guessing chij since that girl wears the ij uniform throughout my dream, as far as i can remember. how does the friendship work i can hardly guess, maybe it is one of those young mature girl telling the older inmature brother what to do (e.g. the little girl in 300 days of summer, who taught her older brother what to do with his relationships)

maybe that is just the inner me who always wondered what it is like to have a little sister.

thanksgiving #3

so i gave up updating my thanksgiving every week. not that I dont have any, but sometimes i just dont feel like typing anything.

the past two weeks have been crazy at work. crazy in both good and bad ways. had to do up a branding video with a really tight deadline and many other work to do, i messed it up. it was the weekend before the boss wants to show it to the public, there werent many options i could take to solve it, or so it seems. there wasnt anything i could do within my power. but that's where the magic comes in. God allows such things to happen so that we know we are nothing without Him. i told him many times the past week that it is out of my hands, i'll just leave it to You to do whatever you planned. of course, i still couldnt stop worrying and stressing about it but He just solve everything over the weekend. the video turned out pretty well, and in a way that no way i could have planned for, even if i had all the time in the world before that to prepare for it.

it was also this period that i thought about my job, whether i should still stick around or to look for seemingly greener pastures elsewhere. he replied my prayers with a clear answer, not once but twice to be patient and stick around.

God answers prayers, may not be in the way we want, but if we choose to listen, He always answers. About half a year ago, two unrelated friends on separate occasions asked me why I dont ask out a friend of mine. I have never thought of that friend in that way before, so that random occurance just got me thinking if that was a sign from Him. He made sure I saw Him slamming the door on that.. twice again! He was probably telling me, "Dont even think about it!".

I thank God for being here, though I hate to think about it, I also thank Him for teaching me a lesson a year ago, I needed it.

As I ponder on another part of my life, do pray for me, for God to guide my actions and decisions, and for me to trust that He knows it best.

handmade photo frames

recently, i had to purchase some photo frames for work. i used to purchase them from the popular across my office but it has sinced moved out. feeling lazy to make a detour to toa payoh to buy, my colleague suggested this traditional shop along a row of shophouses nearby that still makes frames by hand.

in the era that most things are made in factories to enjoy economies of scale, it is quite nice to see that such small shops still exist. entering the shop,  we saw two men in their 50s working away on some frames using hand tools. we proceed to making our orders only to find out that the material we chose was not the usual ones my company picks. apparently some of our staff do frames there regularly, and after the owner found out where we were from, he immediately told us we picked the wrong type of frames.

this kind of service, you will never get from big scale retailers, such as popular. not that their service isn't good, but their business is just not built to provide such level of service.

as we walk away happily, a saddening thought came to my mind. how many of us these days would go into such jobs, in this case, i can hardly imagine any young person who would want to make frames like these two uncles for their career. these days, we are all looking for either high paying, comfortable environment or cool sounding jobs.

as the country progresses, we can only accept such losses are inevitable.

no i in team

i was just reading this article on soccernet about how arsenal just cannot keep their players year after year and how they dealt with it after each departure. there's this sentence that caught my eye, and reminded me so much of church:

"if a player is not going to commit to the club, you have to just move on without him. Sometimes a disappointing departure prompts other people step up to the plate and they share out the responsibility more among the team."

replacing "player" with "member" and "club" with "chuch", it totally makes sense. a lot of my ex-church mates have left the church, a lot of them very talented people with different gifts. of course I do not at any point think that they aren't team players, but this is more about other people stepping up.

using the music ministry as an example, the typical team of today is totally different from the team 2 years ago. they may not be as musically inclined as some people in the past, but they love God enough to put in the effort and to ignore how people may view their mistakes negatively. zheng long and crystal co-worship leaders, uncle see jwee and auntie siew lan playing the guitar and synthie respectively, they are but few examples out of the many that stepped up.

though it is always saddening for people to leave, the silver lining is that no one is indispensable, God always provides.

"Lukas Podolski isn't as good as Van Persie but he works hard and he's got different qualities; he's scoring goals at the moment and he's working his socks off for the team."

thanksgiving #2

kinda missed a week because work was just crazy last week, but here's this week's

#1 the challenging week at work
it was really a struggle to get work done, but at the same time having to be patient with an incompetent colleague. it would have been so easy to just be nasty but thankfully, God kept reminding me of  how we should speak to build people up. as the struggle continues this week, i hope that God continues to remind me whenever i feel like being nasty.

#2 saturday worship gathering
the opportunity for the entire team to just meet and catch up with one another, good food at aunty florence's and novotel hotel (except for the otah that cause zl and i to have diarrhea).

#3 funguspuff's wedding
my closest friend in jc and possibly during my army time too, someone that i liked for the longest time then. though being rejected back them was depressing, for a while, but now that it is many years later, im quite glad nothing happened as it probably wouldnt have lasted.

no bitterness but just pure joy for a friend who has found her companion to spend the rest of her life with. congrats funguspuff! thank God you found him!

coincidence?

coincidence is a man-made word. miracles are God-made realities. a coincidence is an incident arrange by God who prefers to remain anonymous.

some people says that when things just happen to occur, the idea of God making it happened as it did is not scientific, they are just coincidents. sometimes, i wonder do people realize that coincidents, or going further, fate, is equally unproven in science?

thanksgiving #1

in an attempt to rant and complain lesser, i shall attempt to keep up with a series of 3 thanksgiving per week - 3 things God place in my life to teach me to be a better person

#1 - korean boss of baja fresh
he was featured in a recent episode of undercover boss. in a conversation with a filipino employee, he found out about the suffering this employee had to go through being apart with his family, and yet, the employee continue to thank God for the blessings he has every single day. it touched the boss so much that he broke down, and prayed not once, but twice (on TV!) for each other, and went on to contribute a sum of money for his family to find somewhere they can live together. it's really nice to see that God is and can be present in the workplace, and it is not just about making money and unethical moves.

#2 - how i met your mother - season 4 episode 22 - right place right time
i recently started watching this comedy serial on tv (yes, im know im like so many seasons behind..) but one of the episode i really liked was this particular episode, right place right time. in this episode, ted telling his kids how he met his mother, and how he explained that that particular day could have been so different if it wasnt the many little things that change his usual routine of getting to work. he would normally turn left to buy from his favourite bagel shop, he would not stop at the magazine shop, nor cross the road to pay a begger if not for the little seemingly insignificant unfortunate things that happened to his friends.
it just reminded me of if it wasnt of the little things in my life, i probably wouldnt be here thanking God for all these. if my psle score wasnt what it was, i wouldnt have end up at st. andrew's. if it wasnt for st. andrew's affiliation with the junior college, i wouldnt have been able to enter the jc. if it wasn't for my sajc classmates who went on to smu, i wouldnt have picked smu (instead, ill be laboring off being a geog teacher), if it wasnt for smu, i wouldnt have met amy, and if i never met amy, i would have never come to this church, and accepting Jesus as my Savior.
God's plans often doesnt make sense at that point in time. Hiccups along the way often occurs. But I'm quite happy how His plans always turn out fine, if we are willing to wait. and wait I shall....

#3 - bsf group leader
knowing how hard it is to lead a group, especially if the group has people who for some reason refuse to share, i really appreciate what my GL is doing for us. though he still appears like a nervous wreck, i can tell that he really take his role seriously, and im sure everyone else can appreciate the time and effort underneath the nervousness and awkward jokes.

who doesnt put up a show?

so they came and left. having only really know who they are during my trip in june, i thought that the rest of singapore's knowledge of the royal couple was as limited as mine (except for carol who is like their biggest fan, but she works in the uk so its not a fair gauge). turned out that there was a big group of people who were following them excitedly over their 3 days here.

one picture that has been going around the social media was a shot of a housing estate with the usual fitness area and open area. a picture showed that other than the groups of people waiting behind the barricade for the arrival, the rest of the area is free of people (just like how it is normally). the comparing photo instead showed the large group of elderly doing tai chi, kids playing in the playground. the word of that moment was "wayang" which is malay for putting up a show with people critisizing that singapore only know how to wayang.

while i wouldnt disagree with the fact that we did put up a show it seems, i am rather disappointed with how critical people are. who does not put up a show to impress? who doesnt tidy up the house before guests arrive? who doesnt spend more time dressing up for a first date? who doesnt alt+tab when the boss walk by your monitor?

"Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her"

Patience

how apt is the timing of the reading, just when the irritation level is hitting a max..

"have you noticed that God puts most of us, at some times in our lives, next to another person whose personal habits irrtate us? An obviously tidy person is put with an abnormally untidy one. A stickler for detail is put with a person who lives by vague generalization.... This is to develop Christ-like character in us, particularly patience, and to help us change for the good of other people.... The most spiritual person is the one who accepts irritating things with patience, bearing with the other person in love, not painfully resigning and complaining!"

autumn

we dont have 4 seasons over here, but the closest to experiencing them, or in this case, autumn, is when the hot weather is interrupted by the occasional storms and breeze.

so its time to change my template once more (and realized that i didnt do it for summer.. haha..).. found a template that is remotely like autumn, which suddenly reminded me of the autumn menu that we just launched, with almost 99% of the design done by me! though i am not expert, nor do i plan to be one and make a living out of it, i have really come a long way from the guy who just joined church, got involved with youth camp, and agreeing to do publicity stuff even though i had no experience with it. im surprised i took it up as it isnt uncommon for people to reject tasks fearing that they will embarass themselves if they fail.

for those who arent equipped, God will equip you as long as you are willing.
for those who has the gifts and yet are not using it, it's time to have faith and cast all your reluctance aside.
for those who are afraid of failing, who hasnt fail before? stop worrying about people judging your failure. does your reputation really worth so much? don't allow pride and ego to be an obstacle.while you spend your time worry about such things, others have to put in more effort in areas where you are suppose to contribute but am not because you are more concern with being self centered.

For whoever has will be given more and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Matt 25:28-30

Proverbs 12:15

The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

How often do we insist that we are right? Even when the whole world advised that you are wrong?

dad! i know better..

there comes in time in almost every kid's life where they will find their parents annoying. for some, it started when they insist on sending you to school even after your 14th birthday, for some, it's their constant nagging at your mess of a room, for some, it is the constant doubts they have over things you say, the list goes on. for some of us, that period came and gone quickly, for some, it wasn't that fast. for some, it hasn't end, and it just might not end.

how often do we wish they would leave us alone, that we know better what is right and what's good for us. some of us wish it silently with a smile on our face, some choose to ignore totally, many other choose to react with a lot of angst, to prove to the older people that indeed we are not mature enough to communicate properly. i remember the days when i myself snap back at anything i perceive as a nag.

not that i am a really filial and nice son, but i do believe i came a long way. i look back and wonder, why do we get annoyed in the first place? why dont parents trust us to live our own lives? our proven limited knowledge always tells us that we are right at that point in time. more often than not, we prove that we are indeed too sure of ourselves.  parents nag only because you have shown that you are capable of doing something without their reminders, they don't trust you because you have not done anything to show that you earn the trust. human nature causes us to look for blame everywhere else except looking at ourselves.

recently, a friend of mine, called me really out of the blue, just to chat and to share his concerns about his kid. it was really weird he called me, someone who is unmarried and far from having a kid, must less a kid in the angsty period of their life. as much as he likes to give freedom to his kid, his kid doesnt seem to be able to handle the freedom. whenever he talks about his concerns, the kid gets angsty pretty much because he thinks that he knows it well enough to decide for himself. i couldnt really offer much of an advice, but that got me thinking about how i was once like this too...

death of conversation?

so i was at one of the restaurant, waiting for an opportunity to carry out the surveys i need to do. observing the different tables, it's just a pity that people eat together and yet, they dont talk to each other anymore.

a middle age couple with their teenage son, barely a word shared between the two parents, not a word from the son. kinda reminds me of someone else at that age group.

an elderly couple, enjoying the food, maybe so much that not a word was shared during the meal.

another couple was engaging in conversation, their teenage daughter fished out her phone and spent the entire meal staring at it.

it seems like we are entering an era whereby people don't bother talking to one another anymore. i certainly had my fair share of experience. eating with people that dont bother contributing to a conversation, with people that prefers spending time with the phone or some other activity.

why do they bother meeting up at all? isnt meeting up about spending time with the person you are with?

saying this, it was nice to see groups still enjoying the company they are with. a dad and toddler chatting happily, two male colleagues sharing a lot of laughters.

well, i do suppose it isnt all hopeless just yet..

the power of promises

somewhere people still make and keep promises. they choose not to quit when the going gets rough because they promised once to see it through. they stick to lost causes. they hold on to a love grown cold. they stay with people who have become pains in the neck. they still dare to make promises and care enough to keep the promises they make. i want to say to you that if you have a ship you will not desert, if you have people you will not forsake, if you have causes you will not abandon, then you are like God. With one simple word of promise, a person creates an island of certainty in a sea of uncertainty.

lewis smedes

things i learned while travelling alone

its been a week and a half since i got back, and i finally sat down and calculated the cost of my recent 14 day escapade. i may have missed out on certain things, but seems like my expenditure isn't that huge after all, some way below my budgeted amount.

so with such a big expense, what did i learn from it?

i take care of myself much better when im travelling alone that back in singapore:
I actually take special care to watch my diet such as eating vegetables and fruits during meals and drinking enough water. i even came close to buying fruits from the supermarket but in the end, i thought it was easier to just drink fruit juices and smoothies.

i can keep myself entertained
very much like how easily a child can keep himself entertained with little things. all it takes is some imagination, a silly brain, and many interactive displays with levers and buttons. i barely had to take out my book to read, not that i dont like reading.

i do not torture my stomach
i dont eat expensive stuff, but i wont save money by skipping meals.

i enjoyed the freedom
the freedom to decide what time to wake up, what time and what to eat, when to take a break, what to see. no need for endless discussion, or people not being able to make up their minds.

i dont like not knowing
i like knowing that i have a roof over my head every night, i dont like not knowing whether i get  a seat on the train or not, i like knowing that im walking in the right direction (and not being a stereotypical guy and instead ask for directions as soon as i sense that i might not be walking in the right direction)

Roomies

So today marked the end of my hostel stays, had roommates from all over the world..

British..
My first night at Edinburgh, I ended up sharing a 4 bed room with a British girl. It is so weird sharing a room with just one person of the opposite gender. Didn't get much chance to talk to her, being still jet lagged and going to bed pretty early. It turned out that she talks in her sleep!

Brazilian..
The next few nights on Skye was spent with David, carol and a Brazilian named evandro. He flew all the way from brazil to learn English at a school in Edinburgh. Thought he was rather weird at first but turned out he's pretty alright.

Romanians..
Only met them late in the evening when I returned to Edinburgh. By the time I got back from the queen's concert screening, they were asleep and woke up at 2am to catch a flight

Swiss..
This two fellows were so funny. They bought a stack of postcards (like 60) and spent the whole evening writing back to their family and friends about their experience in Scotland. In this age, it is rare to see people still writing post cards, and enjoyed so much at doing so.

Pakistani..
Turned out my newcastle roommate was doing his phd in Cardiff and dropped by Newcastle university for research. Found out he has a 14 month old baby back in Pakistan. Must be very hard to be away from the family, and he still has 2 more years in uk..

All in all. It was a good experience, meeting people from all walks of life, but for now, it's time to enjoy having a bathroom for myself :)

Inside the common room

Sitting at the common room, with a cup of half priced Starbucks frap (they are having a half price promotion! We need this in Singapore too!), surrounded by fellow tourists lazing around playing pool, using the free wifi, reading a book, I finally found myself doing what I thought backpackers do on their travels. Scotland has been amazing! The 3 days spent in the highlands, surrounding myself with food mountains, glens (valleys) and lochs, the scenery is just amazing. Makes one wonder, only God has the ability to create something so wonderful. Although we spent a little too much time in the bus than I like, I get to see the little things, like the thousands of sheep we drove past, with their little ewes in tow and the little rivers that meanders towards the lochs. Edinburgh itself is pretty too, though somehow I don't find it as picturesque as I thought it would be. The castle (I always had a soft spot for castles) is pretty cool too, completed with cannons, prison cells and towers. And I am quite thankful that I chose to come during this weekend, during the queen's diamond jubilee. Even though most of the excitement is in London, edinburgh, being the capital of Scotland had some events that went in too. There was this live viewing of the concert at a palace, whereby they were giving out free flags, crowns and face painting to make the atmosphere even better. It's really a good experience being part of it. My 4 and a half days stint in Scotland is almost up. England here I come!

Day 1,2

So here marks my first flight.. And technically the first time I flew on SIA.. The 45 mins from kl when I was p4 doesn't count of course.. Anyway, the a380 was nice and spacious, and I'm quite thankful for it cause the lady beside me totally has no boundaries, kept spilling over to my side.. Like way over.. And she wasn't big size or anything.. But seeing how she seems unwell throughout the flight, I kept quiet about it. The flight itself was uneventful, nice food, can't sleep as usual. 4 movies, 5 episodes of the new girl and the next thing I know, I arrived at London! The journey to Carol's place from the airport took a while, but it was pretty straight forward. Turned out she stays at a nice looking apartment near her workplace.. Today marks my first full solo day.. Waking up at an unearthly hour of 7am, I couldn't go back to sleep! Stupid jet lag.. And my first stressful part during the train ride to Edinburgh.. Holding a railways, I wasn't assigned a seat like most others, and I forgot to ask the information where I was allowed to sit.. So when I board the train, I realised the seats I saw are all reserved.. I started to panick a little, grab all my stuff and went off the train to find a carriage that has empty seats... I finally got one, and then I realised I couldn't find my train ticket!!! Well, after digging for a few minutes and wondering if I left it at a previous carriage, I finally found it in another part of my bag.. Phew! So after today, I realised I can travel alone. It is quite nice not needing discussions over where to go and what to do.. But it is quite scary having to make decisions yourself, like whether you are getting on the right train, going the right place... Think I still prefer travelling with ppl... But there's still time for that preference to change right?

and just like how joey said it...

glad its over

i have not felt so nervous in such a loooooooong time.. maybe the last time could be my first ever presentation in university. because of my uk trip, i had to do make up class today and that means that i only had 2 days to practice.

playing in a class of strangers really up the nerve factor, and i barely made it through alive! alright, im exaggerating, but basically i kept rushing rather than pausing when im suppose to, and changing rhythms halfway because i totally lost track of where i was playing, and pressing the wrong keys.

serves you right for choosing such a difficult song! in any case, thank God for the supportive classmates who sang along. =)

house vs rachel

i just found out today, after watching that particular scene quite a number of times, that dr house and rachel from friends actually met on a plane!

http://youtu.be/DNd7dAFnq8c

8 more days to go...

better start preparing for it.....

one week on

I can't believe it.. Im actually missing China and traveling with the adults.. Haha..

examine yourself

it takes two hands to clap. with one, you can get no sound. maybe if you swing it hard enough, you might hear the air move.
it's the same for everything else.

like for friendships..
definitely something that requires two hands to work. a relationship that fades away, often, we like to blame it on the other party. we, humans, all like to think that we don't do anything that is wrong, it is always the other person. a not too recent yet not too long ago incident with a friend resulted in a breakdown. i did think that why is the other person so difficult? why cant that person just go along with things? looking back, i just feel ashame for thinking that way. no matter what it is, i should examine myself, and ask myself why am i so difficult instead. im glad things arent as bad as it used to be now.
we can and often blame others on why they dont make an effort to maintain a relationship. for every silence on the other side, how can we blame anyone else but yourself if you yourself remains silent? how can we accuse others of being difficult when ourselves refuse to be more easy going? we can ask why others fail to meet the expectations but we can also ask why do we fix our expectations so high?

or for church..
having only been around the scene for a few years, i have already hear my fair share of people talking about how other places are better, how the preacher is more interesting, how the people are more caring, how easier it is to grow, how they have more areas for one to serve. well, of course there's always something better somewhere else, something better in an individual own interest. of course its better when everything is all set up, nice and proper, and you just have to... fit in, everything is provided for. one house that has everything and servants to keep it going, the other house is bare and empty, which one would one think it will be the more cosy one? of course its the one i can step in, sit on a huge comfortable chair, servants bring drinks and food to me, and i just do what i want to do. who doesnt like to get good things without having to do anything? that said, does it mean that the empty house cannot be cosy, cannot be comfortable? it will remain cold and empty if one is too lazy, too self centered to do anything about it. or it can be nice and comfortable too if one is willing to stop whining, get the butt off the floor, go to ikea and get yourself some furniture, and ask some friends for a nice gathering.

he's difficult, but have i been easy?
people arent caring, but do i care for others myself?
sermon isnt interesting, but am i willing to listen or learn to begin with?
gatherings arent fun, but do i try and plan something fun?
there's nothing in common, but have i tried to see if there could be anything in common?
there are people i dont like there, but have i tried liking them?
there's something wrong with how things are done, but have i tried changing them?
i cant contribute anything, but have you tried? if not, how do you know you cant?

it's always easier to identify other's mistakes, faults. it is always clearer from the point of the observer. but what is really important is not about what other's do or do not do. which right do one have to judge others anyway? one should really look at himself, to make himself blameless, and let others deal with themselves.

back from the clouds..

a week away, and somehow, i found it hard adjusting back to life, back to work. it was an interesting trip indeed, a trip with a totally different group of people, to a land that is very different from any of the limited countries i have been. talked and spent so much time with this group of people, whom i see so often, yet never seem to know much about them. i certainly discover for myself that it isnt that we dont have anything to talk to older folks, it is we dont want to. i found out i could easily maintain a conversation with.. most of the adults on this trip, many of them so much older than myself.

also got to spend some time with someone whom i always tell my cell group that i am thankful for. also made me realise that for someone who has changed my life so greatly with her small act of faith, i havent really been talking nor showing concern much. a tea brought back good memories of those good old days in uni, when life was very much more simple, without people giving you nonsense to deal with.

the world is so big when you are young

so i was on the bus today, and it went past this road named whampoa west. it is about 1-2km away from whampoa, where i grew up, though if one drive, the distance will be much further since there isnt a direct road linking the two places.

when i first learned of this road while playing some imaginery driving game on the street directory with my brothers, (speaking of which, that must be why im quite good with directions, been reading the street directory since.... 6 7 years old!), i thought it must be really far away, since i live in whampoa, and have never come across that road. guess it didnt help that i look at the world atlas a lot too when i was young, and only places like america, africa, korea has to be separated by north, south, east, west.

a 20 minutes walk from home to my primary school classmate's house along ah hood road used to be such a long walk, and i had to take a school bus to school when the distance only takes a 10 mins walk nowadays.

it seems like relative distance really shorterns as one grows older. and here i am, 1 month plus away from my semi solo trip to far far uk.. or maybe it wont be so far anymore after that.

where is the logic

i think only the a certain group of koreans can explain why they are so badly short on food, depending so much on food aid, and yet can spend millions and billions on... "putting a satelite into space"... what are they trying to prove? that they have weapons to wipe out cities but dont have the ability to feed their own people? provoking their neighbours when they can badly use their help is really out of logic as i know it.

the worst part is their rocket failed miserably.

it's also beyond how the people can continue to (or pretend to) love their leaders so...

my "birthday"

it's so weird that the past two times i had my office birthday celebration for me, they both happened to be a colleague from my department's last day.. i wonder who's next next year.

new girl...

is it a very not guy thing to want to watch this series?? i think i need to get myself a dvd-rental membership with all the shows i suddenly want to watch

when i survey..

in what is our first or second new song learning session, mum-to-be, who finally revealed a name they shortlisted for the baby, introduced a song, whose lyrics are so familiar to many, yet rearranged to "create" a song that feels so different..

heavy books..

but i suppose i can start reading them..

matilda!

with so many possible things to watch at the west end, so few days, and so low budget for that matter.. i have selected the show im gonna watch!

sneak preview of what's to come

for the past 2 weeks, my colleagues and i had to take turns to head to rws to survey the people there over lunch time or dinner time. after spending some time there, i realized that this alone-at-a-touristy-spot situation is good practice for what is to come. surrounded by groups of happy and excited tourists, i have to decide what i want to eat for lunch or dinner, where to stop and grab a drink and relax. with so many restaurants to choose from, and a limited budget, would i choose to dine in? or will i grab a sandwich from somewhere, just like what i have been doing at breadtalk?

i suppose it would be different when it is a brand new place, and i'll keep myself occupied exploring new places, and i'm sure i wouldnt mind spending a little bit more on food. for one, i'll be there on holiday and not for work purposes. im really looking forward to it, and im sure ill enjoy myself a lot, but i guess i cant help wondering how differently i would enjoy myself if i was there with someone else...

customer service

currently working closely in customer service, I'm seeing how hard customer service is, especially dealing with unhappy consumers. I keep telling myself that if I find myself in a situation where I had to complain, I'll do it nicely.

so last thursday, I had to make a complaint to Singtel about their ILoveDeal app which is showing wrong information. in short, a customer saw that my company was having a promotion via DBS, and came to dine expecting to use the promotion. however, the truth is that we have no such promotion and the customer had to pay in full. so i wrote in to Singtel trying to find out and today, 2 working days later, a customer service operator called me and in short, he was trying to say that the information was provided by DBS and I should go find out from DBS what is going on. This is by far the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, I could barely contain my anger at such a stupid answer, though I did reply in a calm, but obviously unaccepting of the reason. it's like telling chicken rice stall owner telling me to go contact the raw chicken supplier when I get food poisoning from eating the chicken rice. Isn't it the responsibility of the chicken rice stall owner to ensure the chicken supplies are fresh? Likewise, if Singtel's app choose to display other banks' promotion, isn't it their responsibility to ensure that what their app is showing is correct? Or if they choose to not care about whether the information is correct, their they should indicate in their T&C that "Singtel is not responsible for the accuracy of the information. Basically our app is not reliable, please check with the individual banks".

so the operator tried so hard to get himself out of trouble by saying it is between the two marketing teams, which is fine, cause I don't think the operator has anything to do with this. so i requested for him to connect me to the marketing team, and instead, he asked me to call a hotline instead! like hello? i'm the customer, shouldnt you be getting your marketing team to call me?

i came home very disturbed by the whole episode, so I decided to write a really long feedback to Singtel again, and I cant wait to hear from them really.

(that didnt really took away the... angst in me.. so i decided to write in to breaktalk to complain about something I saw on saturday, and to blog about it.... hahaha.. guess I feel better now.. heh)

knight or knave?

my first encounter with the logic reasoning question with regards to knights and knaves happened in 2004, during my compulsory analytical skills module in university. the questions always revolve around the knight telling the truth and the knave telling lies, and one had to figure out which is which.

as much as i hate telling lies, i am a knave sometimes. i cant imagine a single person who had not lied before. i hate telling lies because part of me know it is wrong as represented in not just society but in God's view as well. the other part of me hates dealing with the guilt that will live with me for a good long time more as you all would have known by now.

so last friday, i discovered i made a mistake at work. a $40 mistake at work which is a very small amount compared to the millions of dollars some bankers lose with their mistakes. i could have easily not told anyone, and make some "changes" and cover up the mistake. not that i really analyzed my odds but i think i can possibly get away with it. some people will say, "come on.. it's only $40" which is true.

on the flip side, is it worth telling a lie or doing something wrong over such a small thing (not that I'm saying we can lie if it is a serious problem), but having to live with the guilt and possible consequences are just not worth it.

so i decided to put it off till today, and by this morning, before the typhoon-like weather struck outside, i have already made my decision to admit my mistake. now mind you, my superior is known to be quite short tempered, that sometimes, at the ripe old age of 29, i still feel like a primary school kid being scolded by a teacher, whimpering in fear. amy once said, "when i'm back at home with friends, i feel like at work i just pretend to be grown up...", i dont even think i get to pretend to be a grown up at work sometimes.. but anyway, so yes, i decided to walk into his cubicle (a total of 2 steps!), and told him what happened. turned out, he didnt even bat an eyelid, and acknowledge it without saying anything. my asst finance manager also didnt say much, and neither did my lady boss.

to think, i actually thought of putting me through guilt for nothing!

Exodus 23:1 says "Do not spread false reports." im thankful that God continues to teach, to keep me on track..

Conquered the battlestar!

as part of the company's cost reduction plan, rather than rewarding the long service award winners with cash as per the previous years, they were rewarded with a trip to USS (universal studio singapore). as part of the recreational committee, i had a free ticket to go too, sort of to reward us for the hard work as well as to look after the rest of the staff.

this is my maiden trip to USS, having found no previous occasion to do so. it isn't a very big park, and the place was completely empty yesterday. i didnt have to queue for more than 5 minutes at any of the rides, (some of them are 2 hours wait during the weekends) which is an awesome thing. within a short time, with no opportunity to wait for my legs to get less wobbly, i took on all the rollar coaster rides. the mummy, battlestar, transformers. done them!

i came to realize that fear to a large extent is self inflicted. i have always a fear of height, and especially the drops on rollar coasters. but having taken the mummy ride (and the star mountain in HK disneyland) whereby both rides are in the dark, i took them on with almost no fear. what i cannot see doesnt scare me it seems.

all in all, it is an ok day, though ocean park and hk disneyland are still better by some distance. but i guess beggers cant be choosers. the only theme park around here, till Legoland comes along in JB.

here i go...

so, after some sort of a hiccup where I had to call SIA customer service twice and DBS once, i finally booked my maiden solo flight.. somewhat my maiden flight on SQ too (not counting the 45 mins flight from KL when i was a young boy)..

i did sit alone on the flight for most of the trip to israel but this will be the first time i'll be going to the airport, checking in, boarding the plane alone.

now to start planning the things im gonna do in uk...

sebby is growing up it seems.... =)

am i rapunzel in disguised?

as i draw closer to the actual task of booking my air ticket, it suddenly occured to me im like rapunzel! haha.. half of me cant wait to go out there and explore, and the other half, somehow, like being held back..

dream weaver

what are dreams? how are they formed? it is something that i think about a lot, for it seems like i remember more than others, sometimes very clearly, somtimes soon forgotten when i brush my teeth, as much as i try to make myself remember.

so today, i had a dream that cannot be explained. a plot that is so seamlessly connected, and yet never have i done any of those things. meeting someone whose appearance im quite sure i havent met, with a name that is so possible yet once again, i do not know of anyone whose name even come close to be the same. though im really curious is there such a person out there with the name and appearance.

how does my brain come up with such things? how does it connect all of them together so nicely? guess it's a question i have to ask God when i see Him someday.

the fall of holding one's tongue

just two weeks ago, i was telling debs about how i finally signed up for twitter so that i can keep up with the youth in church, to know what they are up to. im like their cell group leader, the least i can do is keep up right?

anyway, she mentioned something that i observed all along, just that it never occured to me to look at it further. with the rise of social media, it seems like people are able to convey their thoughts so much easier, so much faster, to so many more people. they are more likely to say something they wouldnt dare in the age without social media. which is so very true. with the bulk of the people on social media belonging to the younger group, the lack of maturity displayed by a lot is beginning to irritate me.

people no longer think about what they want to say. they just post it, not checking whether its fact, or whether it will pissed people off. there's this one guy, on my facebook friends list. he is super anti-government, and everyday, he will post certain things to put the government in a bad light. if everything is fact, and that he is being constructive, then i have nothing to comment about. but the sad thing is nothing he says is constructive, a lot of his comments are just biased to the core. i can so imagine him not saying anything about it if the same thing happens to the parties he supports. it has come to a point where im seriously comtemplating removing him from my friends list, to rid my world of one more evil.

also today, i learned about a certain organization, getting into a little bit of trouble because some guy chose to read too much into a message, made a big deal about it, and the netizens just do what they do best. make every situation worst. seriously, they do nothing else, nothing constructive.

it seems like behind the screens, people can behave like idiots. people that dont think, people that arent considerate. they just do whatever they want to, say whatever they want to. i really have no explanations why there are so many of such people out there.

today's breakfast

attended a course today and hence i could afford to eat breakfast. was a tough choice between hotcakes and this from toastbox:

half boiled eggs, teh and an otah toast!

150th anniversary

so this year is st andrew's 150th anniversary. i first heard of it last saturday, during my jc class almost every year CNY visit to our civics tutor's house. everyone still looks the same! if it wasnt the different life we live and things we talk about, it can easily pass off as a gathering back in 2000

so today, i got reminded of the 150th year after my sas scouts friend started sharing this webisode about st andrew's on facebook. this episode, it tells of this extended family of boys (at least 4 generation) that have been part of st andrew's, and focuses on the youngest boy from the family entering the junior school at primary 1.

though i wasnt from the junior school, i cant help but feel so proud of being a saint for my secondary and jc life. that background music of the school hym and school song we sang so often.. sure bring back a lot of memories..

i went through so much, and learned so much during that 6 years..

• first time i cried in class (at sec 1! haha.. what a cry baby!) after i got bullied by my neighbour (who i thought was my closest friend in class) and his indian friend
• first time i cried in class (at sec 1 again!!) since kindergarten for missing home suddenly during school
• first time i failed in a test
• first time i lost my wallet during scouts camp
• first time i got robbed
• first time i got a crush
• first time a supposedly good friend sneak behind my back and dated my crush (while all the months before i found out, he lied he was going out with some other girl)
• first time i lost a girl because i didnt dare to ask her to be my girlfriend
• first time i rejected a girl
• first time i got myself stalkers and they are quite upfront about it
• first time i danced for a christmas performance for old folks
• first time i..... "dirtied" my pants.. hahahaha.. so embarassing..
• first time i got caught for long hair in school and had to cut it on the spot
• first time i got caught for being around when other people were playing poker cards in class
• first time i cheated in tests
• first time i got attacked by sandflies and spent a year with sores and pus all over my arms and legs
• first time i dropped subject

and all the above are just my secondary school days..

jc first times next....

in the mean time..

my first instrument

taaadaaa...

at the age of 28+....

im at an age where many all over the world are married and having families of their own. no, this is not a post about my feelings over marriage but i'm just saying that this is a age where most people thinks one should be old enough, capable enough to handle their own lives, be it with their married other half or working in a strange foreign country. in this light, i see myself as capable enough to handle the stress in life, the ups, the downs, and the emotions that flow from the circumstances of life. that said, im still quite surprised how a quarrel between my parents still depresses me, much more than many things bad things in life. each time they do, they do not scream at each other, but they do not close their door and even if i try to block them out, i still hear them pretty clearly. and it's has been the same problem for the past... many years. im at a age when i am not afraid to share my point of view, be it at a church board meeting or at work, but when it comes to parents arguement, i just dont feel "qualified" for the lack of a better word, to voice out. my parents are both stubborn on their own point of view, and I must say both have a point, though both have times when they are missing the point.

the sad fact is that both of them are sacrificing so much for the family. at an age where a lot others have happily retired, with their kids looking after them, mine do not enjoy the luxury of such. most of their awake time is still spent slogging away. if.. just if.. they can agree on how to sacrifice together so that it doesnt make the other one unhappy.

saying that, i can only wonder the kind of emotions that go through a younger much younger child having to deal with parents' problems.

judging a book by its cover

this book is awesome! not too leak too much for those who want to read, this book is about a night circus that arrives without warning. No announcement precede it... it is simply there, when yesterday it was not. a book of full fantasy and whimsical. go read it!

i must say i am quite impressed at being able to pick out books based on their covers. who says one cant judge a book by its cover?

generations of cousins

it is looking at the new generation of young cousins then you realized how old one have become. with a can of coke in my hand, i sat on the couch looking upon the kids of my older cousins playing together, making so much noise, running around the house. i turned and look at my fellow cousins, the same thought just float into our minds. we were doing the same things 15 years ago!

the only two differences probably was that one, the kids all seem to like each other, unlike during my time, the majority of us dislike these two siblings-cousins of our's, from a snob family, who thinks that they are too good to be around us (the mum seems to have the same attitude too). of course, being kids, we make sure we made lives difficult for them, like hiding their toys and from what my aunt said yesterday, hurt them too.. though none of us can remember. secondly, the big difference is how much time they are spending with the parents' ipads and iphones.

i look at them and cant help but miss those days. where the only worries is making sure you finish your homework and not forgetting to bring your art class things or else you end up having clothes pegs clipped onto the ears by my cruel art teacher. a time when a scoop of ice cream or french fries will be enough to cheer me up. how i wish life is as easy now.



oh.. 100th post! quite a landmark i must say, quite surprised i reach it.

somewhere over the rainbow

the cell group bible study for tomorrow is a chapter on meeting God through nature, and one of the question to think about is whether you believer God is the creator of all things. in my head, a system that works so perfectly, so wonderfully, can only be from the hands of God. im sure many of us "pretended" to be God before, though games such as Sim City and The Sims, but I'm sure everyone will agree how this world works, we would have never have thought of it.

as the images of the wonders of nature filled my head, for no reason, i turned towards the window, and there it was, a rainbow.

in the bible, God says that He set the rainbow in the clouds as a sign of the covenant with His people. the timing was perfect. God is reminding me that indeed He does speak to us through nature.

the beemers just continue to prove me right

yup, those drivers that think they own the whole world, those drivers of the bmws. a bunch of idiots who think that they are more important than everyone else. people who knows me may think im biased because of my family mercs but i must say i am not at all biased. in fact, i look out even more for bad mercs drivers, people that can spoil the reputation.

having done a branding project on bmws vs mercs, i know well what are people's perception of the two types. one is an rich uncle car, while the other is trendy, successful executive. i think many people are attracted by the latter, and for some reasons, people who can afford them are snobs, the bigger the car (7series), the bigger the snobs.

just today, while waiting for my bus to come outside my workplace, some dude decided to stop behing a car to wait for the valet, while half of the car's butt blocked the only other lane. obviously the valets are off parking the cars as no one approached the car to take over, and the driver seemed very please to wait, blocking off everyone else. if it wasnt for the horns that came after a reasonable 15-20seconds, im quite sure he will be quite happy to stay where he was.
so he finally move further up the road, and he happily stopped his car right in the middle of the bus bay! mind you, not near the front, or the rear of it. that's right.. right in the middle! and most singaporeans are considerate enough to know that they shouldnt be there, so they will stay in the car so that they can shift the car if a bus comes. no, not this brainless dude. he decide to come out of the car, and smoke with his buddies. a bus came and rather than moving the car, the pointed at this car, and the valet counter, and obviously made no attempt to move his car.

now, how do you picture this guy? haha.. nope, not some rich boss or suit up executie. a guy that if it wasnt for the singaporean car plate i would think was driving a malaysian car, gold chain round the neck, middle age, with friends that were dressed so gangstery and having tattoos everywhere.

despite being turned off by the lack of courtesy, i was secretly glad these people are driving a bmw, and continues to push me away from liking that brand.

looking forward to the day i can play this!

young adult's disney

you know how most disney cartoons are like the same, especially the princesses ones. they always have a happy ending, always! for the good ones at least but i dont people in general care about the wicked ones.

no im not talking abt the new generation of pixar films, whereby they touched on human emotions that are above those targetted at kids. up, toy story 3, to name two, that have evoke such emotions. the loss of ellie and how mr fredrickson faced a life of loneliness, the toys from toy story huddle together as they are being sucked into the incinerator. i dunno about you, but i know those scenes brought tears to many's eyes.

and no, im not referring to anything by disney, not that i remember anyway, ok, maybe except princess diary. but im talking about romantic comedies. friends that know me should know i have a soft spot for romcoms. i do enjoy the fantasy (such as lotr, and harry potter), the horror, the drama but i usually kinda need to be in some sort of mood before i'll feel like watching them, but romcoms.. they are like for anytime anyday, just like any disney cartoon.

always a happy ending, a pathetic male character (such as aston kutcher), a pretty female (such as natalie portman!), they meet in the most unfortunate circumstances and somehow, they end up becoming each other's soul mate. such fairy tale plot really seem to be out of a disney script.

and so that's what i did the whole of sunday afternoon. kidnapped ashley's stash of movies, and romcoms were the first ones i picked to watch.. and disney cartoons were next. haha. im so one dimensional.

current favourite =)

so this is the song that is currently on loop..




ooh... new season calls for a new look! it's spring time.. =)

wicked wizards of oz

1 week ago from today, i caught with with no doubt my favourite musical yet, though i must say i dont catch many of them. i liked lion king too, but entertainment wise, wicked is so much better. lion king is like going to disney and, who can dislike fantasy, especially if it's disney? but wicked.. is just wicked!

always a big fan of parallel stories, usually much more than the original because of the extra dimension every scene brings, be it ender's shadow, lion king 3 (or 1 and a half), the two comic characters from hamlet who has their own story, and now wicked! where the scarecrow come from, how did the tin man lose his heart, why is the lion a coward animal.

it also add to the enjoyment how glinda is so similar to reese witherspoon from legally blond.. how the actress manage to act out such a believeable bimbo, im quite sure i laughed everytime she did the horse kick, or how excited she gets over every single thing.

and the songs were all so good!

im so glad i caught it =)


though it is wayyyyyy too early to say, but it seems like 2012 is getting better every single day.

so it took a while..

and it took a really long while.. ok fine, maybe compare to others, it may not be as long, but it is pretty much the longest for me. there i was, still so losts.. and suddenly, just suddenly.. it occured to me..

it's not about what i want or need, for i deserve nothing except death for being the perpetual sinful man, for the wage of sin is death, but thanks to my Lord and  the undeserved gift He gave us, i still live. so it isn't really about me, for being a follower, one must deny oneself, take up the cross and follow. to imitate the love He has for us, to ignore His own needs and suffering, to love others at the expense of oneself.

the often-heard-at-wedding verse: love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. it is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails. the ideal love is this, though i very much, if i was living back in those days, to ask Paul to put in "love is not possesive" either. although i suppose if Jesus doesnt agree, Paul wouldnt be able to write that in.

cliche as it may be, loving is not about possessing. at the end of this complicated word is just wanting the best for the other. it's about sacrificing yourself for others, just like how we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.

if one look at everything in this light, that we really dont deserve anything.. then there isnt really many things to be miserable about.

really nothing much..

no, you are not running late...

this article is totally lifted from my head! haha.. just that i probably cant expressed it as well.. nor would i ever expressed it so.. fiercely...

http://blog.firebrandtalent.com/2011/07/no-you-are-not-running-late-you-are-rude-and-selfish/

a keyboard for company

i think i can keep myself occupied with a keyboard and a laptop of chords. just spent almost 2 hours again playing away again. mind you im just doing basic rhythm which can get boring for some after a while. looking forward to learning how to play melody, though ill probably take forever to learn it, im sure it will be quite fun.

what is the secret formula to sensible people (part 1)

it's just a thought that just popped out after an exchange of thank yous between me and the drinks store uncle. it occured to me then how rare thank yous are expressed in this country. there was even a advertisement going around portraying the everyday Singapore, people do not acknowledge those who give up their seats for them, to those for hold the lift door open. it goes beyond just th lack of graciousness but a serious case of self centeredness. habitual late comers, jaywalkers who conciously make an attempt to slow down when vehicles come towards them, so that drivers have no choice but to stop the car. the list never ends.

i look at myself, though im not perfect and i do lose my temper and rant, i find myself wondering why is it that there are some basic things that seem to common sense, are lost upon many. giving way to alighting passengers, queueing up to get into the lift.

i would like to say upbringing may be one reason, but that may only be a slice of the pie. i examine my own life, and having grow up in a family where my not very educated parents earn enough to make sure their 4 boys have enough to eat, a shelter over the head, and a bed to sleep in. we cannot afford yearly family holiday trips, in fact, my family has never travelled together other than one weekend when i was 8, where we went to kuala lumpur for my great grandmother's birthday. nothing is a certainty, every want has to be earned through hard work and savings. comparing myself to kids whose parents buy the world for them, and they dont have to do anything themselves, i cant say im all surprised they grow up to be self centered people, who expects the whole world to serve them.

saying that, i must admit there are many other reasons to how someone grows up, same parents, same environment, my brothers and i are very different.

oh well.. till the next time something comes into my head..

the mysterious G

one question i always have to face is since our God no longer appears in front of people and tell you what to do, how are we ever gonna figure out what does God wants us to do? one common answer people give is that all answers can be found in the bible. before i became a christian, i always wondered how is it possible that something written thousand of years ago can tell you what to do and how to behave this during this age. well, i must say the past few years spent reading the bible has certainly gave me a different insight. if you read and understand often enough, you will know what to do.

but even till today, there are just some things that i can't guess what is the plan. you ask God for directions, and you thought you read some of the signs given by Him later. but a while later, you will wonder, is this truly what God wants me to do, or is that just my mind playing tricks and telling me what i want to do? it's like 2-3 months ago, out of nowhere, different unrelated people and situations suggest that maybe God is telling me to do something, but then today i heard from a friend that certain things have changed and the opportunity to do that thing is no longer very possible. so now i reflect on the past few months, so have i been thinking too much? missing signs? or just delaying too much? or this has nothing to do with anything related to me but i just happen to be a passerby in God's plan for someone else?

it does make no sense to me now, but i learned that usually, down the road, on hindsight, everything is so clear. i just wasnt thinking about what God wants me to do, and instead confused myself with what i want to do. im sure in a few months, or years, this will all make sense to me, and then.. maybe i'll blog a sequel to this post.